Road Rage (body swap)
by zulator
I was taking my shower as usual and I was thinking about how I hated more and more getting up and driving to work. The traffic had become unbearable, and if it weren't for my stupid Social Security, I would just stay home and retire. I had to show a good income in order to retire next month and I found a good consulting job that would make sure I would get the maximum benefits. So today was like any other day. After my shower, I dried off and put on my slacks and shirt and went down to get a bite to eat before I headed out on the freeway.
It was a nice day, nice enough to stay home, I thought, but it was a Friday and that was a good thing to think about as I drove to work. The radio in my pickup had been stolen a few weeks back by those bastard kids who only steal for drugs, but I wasn't a bitter man. Heck, I remembered when I was young and the things I did then, however they never seemed so dangerous or as violent like what goes on today.
I walked out of my house and waved to Ethel the next-door neighbor whom I'd lived next to for more than 50 years. I'd even seen her kids grow and move out of the house and was with her when her husband passed away. We often forget how close we all are in this world and how small our planet is. I unlocked the door of the pickup and got in, fastened my seat belt and started up the machine. Then I looked both ways and pulled out of my driveway and went up 18th street to the freeway entrance near Academy Blvd.
Entering the freeway was always nail biting. With the speed of the passing cars in the morning, the word acceleration lane took on a real meaning.
Anyway, once I was able to gun the truck and get into the flow of traffic, it was almost always the case that up ahead just a mile or two there would be a slow down for whatever reason. Rubber necking or a real accident on this side of the freeway, or maybe a kid throwing rocks off one of the overpasses, driving to work was never more adventurous.
As I got a few miles from where I had entered, the traffic got sluggish and I dreaded when that happened. I just didn't have any patience anymore. Hell, I was 72 and not in the greatest shape and my point of combustion was very low. I just couldn't take any more shit in my life, especially from the younger kids who thought they owned the road.
Damn, I thought, all four lanes were bumper to bumper and I was wondering if I would be able to move over when it was my time to exit. All of a sudden, this low riding red car was like right on my bumper and the driver was flashing his lights and beeping his horn and I thought, Ok, I was waiting for this idiot to show up. I put my fist up to the rear view window in hopes he would see it. Where did he think I could go? It was all bumper-to-bumper traffic.
However, he kept up with the horn and the lights and although I said I would make this a good day, it was all falling apart. I looked out my side view mirror to see if I could see who was making all the noise and with his car weaving from side to side in the lane we were in, I could see that, sure enough, it was a young kid. I could make out his face almost and he looked like those typical beach bums, blonde hair, spiked, a gold chain around his neck, a very muscular chest with tank top and shoulders that were well toned and, of course, tattoos on both arms. Not only was he beeping at me and flicking his lights on and off, but also he was now yelling out the window at me and he could see me as clearly as I could see him.
"You fucking old man! Pull over!" he yelled.
Well, I thought, easier said than done. No matter how old I am, I wasn't the cause of this traffic. Why was he driving me insane with his antics?
The show went on and I could see the people on both sides of me feel my pain and were helpless to move over or make room for another car even if they tried. We were still crawling about 35mph and I knew I still had a good 5 miles more to go and the bastard kid behind me kept it going and I was ready to turn and shoot the motherfucker if he didn't stop. Good thing I didn't have a gun or that kid would have been dead minutes ago, I thought. Shit, no young punk was going to ruin my well-deserved retirement and this kid behind me was no exception. Somehow the lane on my left had sped up a bit and the kid behind me floored his car and managed to get into the lane on my left. Now he was directly beside me and I was afraid to turn and look at him. Well, I had to eventually and he was giving me the finger and yelling, but I had my window up now and I wasn't going to let him bother me. Then he must have reached over and lowered his right window cause I began to start to hear him now and I looked and he motioned for me to lower my window too. Oh fuck, God take me out of this situation, I thought. Then the bastard must have thrown an empty plastic bottle out so it would hit my window and get my attention. Oh, was I pissed now! I rolled down the window and yelled across to him, "You fucking stupid bastard kid! Are you nuts?"
Well, that just set off a time bomb and the kid was now calling me every disgusting word he could think of and then started in with the "old man" shit and I was livid. I tried to yell and drive at the same time and I read this asshole kid the riot act in no uncertain terms. In response, he just went on and told me how fucking ugly I was and was too old to be on the road.
I couldn't understand this kid. He was a good-looking stud with enough pride in himself to look good, yet he seemed like the devil reincarnated. I was, of course, trying to hold back. I had a few things on my seat I could throw at him if I needed to, but why should I lower myself to his level, I thought.
The next thing I knew I felt this thing hit the side of my head and it didn't hurt much, but in a few seconds I could feel something running down from my temple and I thought it was sweat, but I was wrong. It was blood. The bastard kid had now thrown something that had cut my face. Shit, I thought, I'm going to need an ambulance when I finally get to where I am going. I was fuming now and I turned to him and said, "You fucking crazy motherfucker! You see what you did to me, you bastard kid?" I was shaking now and it was hard to control the truck.
Then the kid started to really yell at me. "You fucking old ugly fucker! You have no right to be on the road, asshole, or be alive for that matter. You're just a drain on society. All you fucking wrinkled-faced assholes should move over and let a young stud get where he's going! You should be 10 feet under!"
Oh man, my head was pounding now. This kid had started the fire in me and I couldn't extinguish it.
"Listen old man. Move over or suck my cock, you miserable fat old man."
Oh shit, I was so mad but what could I do?
"Pull over asshole or I'm gonna see that you do fucking die."
Oh shit, where's a cop when you need one, I thought. I turned and said, "You fucking young cock-brained asshole! Stop thinking out of your pants and get with it. You should have never been born, you worthless excuse for a kid!"
Now the kid was really pissed and he started to weave and come close to my truck, then he went further and hit the side of my truck and I almost rammed into the guy next to me. I just wanted to disappear or better yet teach that kid a lesson he would never forget. Maybe he would like to be me, old and fat and ready for the farm. Then he would see how hurtful he has been. Yeah, that's it. God, if there is a God, make him live in my body and know what it's like to get up each morning to work and worry about the little government money I was going to get for the rest of my short life. I turned the kid now and yelled, "I wish you would swap bodies with me, you bastard kid. Yeah, give me your young hot body and take my old fat one, you son of a bitch."
The kid just stared at me like I was pointing a gun at him and he stopped yelling. That was good and I looked over at him and he was looking nervous and sweating. About time, I thought. I hoped he peed his pants. It got so quiet I was feeling great. I took a deep breathe of air and my body was tingling all over. I felt my cock swell and I thought, geez, I must be feeling good for that to happen. I knew if I jerked it I wouldn't have much luck.
Soon traffic was picking up and my cock was raging in my pants as I felt I had won the battle. Damn, I was so alert all of a sudden and I just felt great. I let my cock do what it wanted 'cause it felt great to be alive. At first, it was like my head had cleared. Then everything else had cleared. My hearing, my eyesight. I was feeling like a kid again. As traffic sped up, I was coming up to my exit and I knew I would never have to see that car next to me again. I turned to wave goodbye and my jaw dropped as I was looking at the kid. He wasn't a kid any longer. In fact he was me, but how could that be, I thought. I had to turn and I did and I went up the ramp and it all seemed so weird. Maybe it was a different car I was looking at and the man happened to look similar to me. I stopped at the light and adjusted my rearview mirror to see if I could still see the car and the real shock hit me. I was now the kid, blonde spiked hair and blue eyes and my body was like a stud's, all muscular and shit. I must have been 25 or so. I turned where I normally did and stopped for coffee at Starbucks like I usually did and went in. My clothes must have fit his body nicely and I caught my self in a mirror and--fuck yes--my slacks draped my athletic body just right and my shirt showed off the molded chest I had and I was so fucking cute now. The girls in the place all were looking at me and I was blushing so badly. When I got up to order, the girl smiled big and said, "What shall I get you, you stud?"
I was so confused. I normally ordered a house blend and a sweet roll, but this time I asked for double cappuccino and she asked for my name to write on the cup. I said my name was Jim and she blushed too and asked what my phone number was. I laughed and asked when she got off and she said 2pm and I said I'd be here to pick her up. And as the line moved along, the other customers were smiling as they had just witnessed love at first sight. I got my coffee and it was like I was floating on air as I left the place and the hot looking chick behind the counter could not take her eyes off me the whole way. It was quite evident that my bulge had meaning now, and I was going to count the seconds till 2pm. I got into my truck and just sat there sipping the cappuccino, thinking about what my new life was going to be like. Fuck, I was a retiring electrical engineer. I could get a job anywhere with this experience and this body. I was floating on air.
Soon the sound of paramedics and a fire truck filled the air and from where I was I could see them entering the freeway. I started up the truck and headed in that direction and pulled over to the side of the road and ran up to the freeway entrance to see what it was. Damn, I thought. I was running like a stud and not winded at all.
"OH SHIT!" I said as I saw a flaming red car up against the middle median and it was fully engulfed in flames and I knew it must have been that bastard kid when he found out he became who I used to be and couldn't handle it.
Later that afternoon with this hot chick next to me in bed, I wondered if this was all planned for me, or if I had passed some test God was giving out today and I passed and was given the body of a very disturbed young man who was bound to be a loser. Kelly, the girl from the coffee shop was turning over to grab me, she tired out about the fourth time we came fucking, and she rolled me over for another kiss, and we both fell asleep.